Thanks, Wall Street Journal. It's not particularly newsworthy that a doctor's necktie is a bigger disease carrier than your next-door neighbour's precious little snot-nosed yard-ape. The fact that these sneeze-height bacterial dragnets are serially draped onto sickies and rarely cleaned would seem to make this obvious to anyone. So the surprising bit is that so many media outlets thought they needed to actually tell us this. Whatever you do, guys, don't let this H1N1 hysteria die out. Ratings and readership hang in the balance.